Hot, Naked Nine Year Old Girls (Click Here!)

September 1st, 2010 No Comments

Now that I have a few minutes to spare, I’d like to figure out what’s going on with mothers today. I was just in Orlando doing “the parks” and I saw a fairly good share of pre-teen girls bare asses. Ya know daisy dukes? When I was in my 20s in the 90s, teenaged girls wore them like it was mandatory. More often than not, you could see the bottom of a girl’s ass when she wore them. I didn’t have a problem with that.

What I have a problem with is nine year old girls wearing them. I just don’t get it. I understand why THEY want to wear them. Like all females, they need to be looked at. But don’t parents worry about thirty year old men liking what they see? We live in a very perverted world. With the internet, pedophilia is at an all-time high. Little girls are being abducted left and right. When’s the last time you DIDN’T hear about a little girl who was missing? Most recently, there was a cheerleader. Did they find her body? I’m pretty sure they did – but I stopped watching because I’m just too damned tired of hearing about all these kidnappings.

Anyway. If you’re a mother – what’s the deal? Can you explain to me what you people are thinking when it comes to your daughters? When you see guys starting at her ass cheeks, does that help you to relive your youth? I’m sure as hell it’s not the father’s idea to have their daughters ass hanging out the bottom. If it were up to them, NOBODY would be allowed to look at their daughters.. Probably ever.

So it’s the mothers with this fascination/obsession with human males gawking at their baby daughter’s ass. Somebody please explain this to me. FYI: I think you’re an idiot.

 

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Rants of the Morning and Paints on my Car

August 20th, 2010 No Comments

While on the elliptical machine this morning, I observed the same old thing – overweight women on the treadmills reading, talking on the phone and as usual, not sweating. Is it really rocket science that if you want to lose weight, you need to work at it? It’s not easy. If it were easy, everybody would be in great shape. What’s the deal? Are these women afraid to sweat?

There’s more to benefit from REAL exercise than just being in shape. It helps you live longer. Apoptosis, or programmed cell death, is slowed down when you do cardiovascular activity. And I don’t mean WALKING on the treadmill. I mean real exercise. Cell death is what makes you age. As your cells die, the new cells that replace them aren’t as good as the ones before them. They’re simply carbon copies that carry “almost” all of the information on the original. The more this process happens, the older we get.

Wanna stay young? Delay your cells from dying in the first place! Isn’t a good run or jog every day – or at least four or five times per week – worth staying young? There’s your fountain of youth… Drink from it…

On another note, I heard a woman next to me complaining about having to wax. Something about her having to wax “everything” for her husband. Ya know what? I don’t buy it! I think that’s just an excuse.. I think women do this to feel “feminine”. I think it has very little to do with men being unable to stand seeing hair on a vagina. Oh, my God! Hair on a vagina! I’m calling my attorney to work-up the divorce papers! Holy shit!

Anyway, I don’t believe women do this for men. I think they do it for themselves. And if you DON’T do it for yourself – and you do it for your man – and it’s not just to be nice – he actually demands it – go F! somebody else! It’s F’ing HAIR! Humans have hair! Deal with it. Grooming is an important part of life these days.. Nothing wrong with that. But if you don’t want to do it, than don’t do it.

And my last rant of the day… When you get the windows on your car tinted, it’s TINT. NOT TINTS! This nonsense started happening a few years ago and now I actually hear grown, intelligent men talking about getting “tints on their windows”. It’s TINT. Not TINTS. You had tint installed on your windows. Moron!

Oh! I just got paints on my car! Yeah.. Paints on my car and tints on my windows. Woohoo!

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Stop Your F’ing Bitching About Naked Miss America!

August 20th, 2010 No Comments

Oh! My God! It’s so horrible! Someone in the Miss America (or whatever) pageant posed nude for a picture! Gosh! Now what are we going to do?! Ya know what?! Who the F! cares?! What is it that makes it so bad to be photographed naked? If you are, than you can forget about being in a beauty pageant. Imagine how “horrified” everyone would be if an important female politician was “outed” for having a naked photo floating around the internet somewhere.

Yeah.. Be very careful of what you wish for! Just about every young woman on this planet with a cell phone camera has taken a picture of herself naked. If you have a teenaged daughter, than SHE’S taken one too! She may not have sent it to anyone (yet) – but it exists. And at the rate private data is being viewed by unauthorized people these days, you can probably guess how possible it is that somebody else already HAS that picture.

Now it’s 30 years later and your daughter is running for Mayor. Well you can forget about THAT.. You made such a big deal about Miss F’ing America being naked that you pretty-much sealed the deal on your daughter’s political career. Congratuf’inlations… And even worse, if she DOES send that picture to somebody and gets caught – there’s a strong possibility she’ll have a criminal record.. For God’s sake……….. The insanity…

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Beards in New York City

August 7th, 2010 No Comments

WTF is with so many young guys in Manhattan with big, scruffy Osama Bin Laden beards? Is this the new thing? Everybody has to have a F’in big hairy beard with shit growing in it? Go ahead, check it out. Next time you go to Times Square you’ll see a bunch of dainty, skinny guys skipping around on their tippy toes with their arms down to their sides and hands sticking out palms facing up prancing around like fools. Maybe they’re all paying homage to Bin Laden or something. I don’t know.. Do you know?

I have nothing against beards. And I don’t have anything against people with beards. I’m just curious about why so many young guys in New York have them now. Personally, I like well-groomed people. I think most people do. I don’t appreciate dirty looking people. And that’s what these guys looked like – dirty people.

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The Food in Manhattan is Penis

August 7th, 2010 No Comments

The food in Manhattan is penis. Nothing special at all. I expected better. I’m sure there’s a few great restaurants around – but I didn’t have time to try everywhere. I was downtown, midtown and uptown. The pizza here is much worse than my favorite spots in South Florida. They skim the top with the thinnest bit of cheese without having to call it something else. I had a cheese calzone in Little Italy that didn’t have any flavor at all – almost no ricotta cheese – along with the most watery sauce I’ve ever had (very little flavor as you could imagine). I had a bacon, egg and cheese bagel at a diner – again, no better than food I get in South Florida – and the bagel itself was a hard disaster. I probably should have stuck with the guys selling food in carts on the streets.

There was a restaurant in China Town that was pretty good. Hoy Wong. The Chinese food in San Francisco’s China Town is better, however.. Again, I know there are places I didn’t eat that are surely excellent – but I kinda had the feeling this would be like San Francisco where all the food was good. It’s not like that. And where I live in Palm Beach, there’s excellent food everywhere. So if you’re heading to Manhattan, don’t expect too much. When you hear people talk about good food in New York City, it’s probably Brooklyn they’re referring to…

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Dude! It’s NOT a “Back” Slash!

August 4th, 2010 No Comments

…it’s just a plain old slash… Why is it that everyone calls this symbol: / …a backslash? Since when is it a “back” slash? I really don’t know why, but ever since the internet came along, people started having trouble with slashes. It’s all the URL’s fault. www.cadillacforums.com/forums/

Oh, my God! Double you double you double you dot cadillac forums dot com back slash forums backslash. Yack! Haven’t you been writing out the date with “slashes” since like the first grade? My birthday is 09/13/71 (everybody remember me, my birthday is coming up). That’s nine slash thirteen slash seventy-one. Not nine backslash thirteen backslash seventy-one.

It’s just a slash. Wanna know what a backslash looks like? \

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2024 – Free Agents, Trades, Playing Cards – For Politicians

August 4th, 2010 No Comments

I had this weird and crazy vision that reminded me of Idiocracy (the movie). Picture this.. In 2024, kids will have trading cards by Fleer, Topps and Upper Deck – only they won’t be baseball and/or football players – they’ll be politicians – complete with a nice picture in the front and full political statistics (votes, vetoes, etcetera). Every day in the newspaper – in the politics section – there will be a scoreboard with stats. Democrats will get traded for Republicans.. Republicans will get traded for Independents. Independents will get traded to one of the Tea Parties and so on…

There will be rankings – some judged by intelligence; some judged by strength. There will be battle royale’s for the few physically fit politicians on steroids. There will be disabled lists. There will be live debates in large stadiums where people will all join in together to stand up and do “the wave”. Politics is going to become a sport. Because we’re dumb enough to make/allow it to happen. We’re so entertained by reality television and frivolous nonsense that I feel this scenario is inevitable.

Think about it.. Really think about it.. How unlikely is this to happen in the next 15-20 years? Remember. It’s all a big show. Everything has already been decided for us. The President is simply a front-man. A talking head. So get your peanuts and popcorn and get ready to join in with everybody else in 2024 at the local stadium.. I can hear it now… “PEEnuuuts.. HOT dooogs… Ice Bold BEE-yeer…”

P.S. Rookie of the year, Draft Picks, MVP (Most Valuable Politician), All Stars. It’ll all be there…

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Why are more and more parents giving their boys girl’s names?!

August 4th, 2010 No Comments

Kerry. Terry. Kim. Courtney. (Yes, F’ing Courtney!) – WTF is going on here? I don’t see women named Vinny.. Okay, Toni – but it’s spelled differently – and it’s not half as bad as a masculine man with a hairy chest named Courtney! What’s next? Suzy? Sarah? Amanda?

So what is the deal? I KNOW that some of you reading this can’t WAIT to have a boy and name him Jessica… So, please – tell me what’s going on here and why you’re naming your boys with a girl’s name.

Were you hoping for a girl? Are you angry at men and want your male child to get picked on at school? Are you praying that one day you’ll have millions of dollars after someone pays you for permission to write a book and make a movie about your Son, the serial killer?

Name the damned thing Anthony or Michael or Bill. Not Priscilla.. Please…

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Little Girls and Baby Dolls

August 4th, 2010 No Comments

What is it with little girls and baby dolls? Seriously. I’m asking… Why is it that a young girl would want a baby – and so much so as to actually GET a fake one? Is it possible that this has a huge influence on whether or not a woman has a child one day?

The reason I bring any of this up is because I see a lot of women out there with children who either don’t really want them – or just damn well should not HAVE any. But of course, just about every woman has been accustomed to having a baby since – well – practically since she was a baby. So it would feel so “wrong” to NOT have a baby. Right?

If there’s a God, is THIS how he/she intended it to be? Do you think God is proud of you for having a baby because you just figured you were supposed to? I think the Catholic church pushes people into having children as well. When my Wife and I got married – we started at the Catholic church (we’re both Catholic). They basically wanted us to promise that we’d procreate before marrying us. We said, “forget it” and got married elsewhere.

W.T.F.? W.T.F… I can’t fucking get married unless I have children? You low-life P.O.S. I shou… Okay, I won’t get off track here…

Anyway.. It seems like society forces us to have children – even when we don’t want them. This damn rock (Earth) is over-populated as it is.. Do we REALLY need to brainwash people into having children – even if and when they don’t want them? Why not allow this process to happen naturally? Will the world end? What the “F” is the deal? Can SOMEBODY tell me?

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Brooklyn’s Finest – 4 out of 10

July 26th, 2010 No Comments

Well.. I saw it yesterday afternoon. It was a boring Sunday and I had nothing to do – so I finally watched this movie that my wife rented a few weeks ago. I didn’t WANT to watch it because I had a feeling it would suck – but it was the only non-chick flick we had. It has three or four (I forget) washed-up actors – I know two of their names: Wesley Snipes and Richard Gere. The other two (yeah, there were definitely two) never became famous enough for most of us to remember (though they’re not bad actors).

Anyway.. It wasn’t a BAD movie.. Out of ten, I give it a four. Not terrible but not good either. I could have sat in front of my desk and worked and felt more fulfilled afterwards. Like every movie (and being that I’m a super dick), I have to pick apart at least one scene. Last time it was the (in my best girlie voice) “Oh, it’s the two thousands! Can’t you hyphenate my last name like ALL human women do in the two thousandses? Blibbidy blobbidy blue!” bullshit nonsense scene that they stuck into the latest tardo vampire love story as a woman’s lib afterthought.

This time, it’s the “we frown at the thought of racism and we must make it a point that everyone knows this” scene when four guys were playing cards in some loser’s basement. Out of nowhere, one guy supposably makes some racist comment (I couldn’t even hear what he said) and one white guy says something like, “Hey, you know my wife is black” and then he says something else (and I couldn’t hear this either) and then the loser who owned the house jumped up and punched him in the face and screamed and ranted something about racism.

The scene was such an afterthought because it really didn’t fit – but it appeared they put a lot of time into it to get it just right. Like after the movie was completed somebody said, “Ya know? We need something in there to establish the fact that we don’t condone racism and that it’s a very bad thing.”. We KNOW this already you fuckin’ geniuses! We KNOW that racism is bad. We don’t like it. We hate it. We’re prejudiced against racism! Or whatever.

Next, we’re going to see a new Star Wars, Jaws or Rocky 11 – or fuck it, Friday the 13th part 19 beta 1. All the sudden Jason Voorhees is going to stop eating somebody’s intestines and slip out of character, take off his mask, look at the screen and say something like, “Ya know? Racism affects us all…”.

Can we PLEASE stop making movies to send messages? We KNOW men suck, we KNOW gays are great and we KNOW that racism is bad. Please. Let me just get the fuck back to watching my stupid movies again…

Thank you…

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