This weekend was interesting.. My wife’s cousins were in visiting and I went to hang out with them both Friday and Saturday night. Friday night was pretty normal.. We bar hopped around West Palm Beach before landing at Off The Hookah where we stayed a couple of hours and then went to “Frank’s” condo (basically two rooms) where we hung out in the living room – on the couches – for an hour or so. Frank is also my wife’s cousin and we hang out from time to time. His place is nothing new to me.

So far, so good… Fast forward to Saturday night… We did basically the same thing: Bar hopped around West Palm Beach and landed at Off The Hookah where we spent a few hours. By the end of the night, I’d had a few drinks (it was actually a slow night so I was sober) and had to go get Frank’s Sister’s medication from off the refrigerator at his condo.. So I got the keys and headed on down (he lives only a block away from Off The Hookah).

There were three keys on the keychain and I tried each – one by one – and none of them worked. I realized I’d have to walk back down to Off The Hookah (okay, no big deal) and then FIND Frank (big deal), get the right key and start over again. In a last ditch effort to avoid all that – I just tried the door knob. To my amazement, it was unlocked! Wow.. Now I’m really surprised – especially considering the story he told me a few minutes earlier about a guy knocking on his door at 6:30 in the morning asking to sleep on his couch.. Yeah.. Interesting..

Anyway.. So I’m shocked! I’m thinking, “I can’t wait to tell Frank he left his door unlocked”. I walk in – and with my eyes focused on the refrigerator, walked straight toward it. I wasn’t paying attention to anything but what I had to do. So I walk up to the refrigerator, look on top (where the prescription medication is supposed to be) – and I see nothing. I call my wife, ask her to “wake up Faith” – who happened to be staying at our place that night – and let me know what the deal is.

As I was making the call, I turned around and – the first thing I noticed was – a bowl of potato chips. Now I was STARVING at this point – so again, I completely focused on the potato chips and wasn’t thinking or paying attention to anything else.. Great. I got off the phone and started eating. I ate ALL of the potato chips..

After I was done there – and my wife texted me back telling me to forget about the medication because Faith didn’t know where else she would have put it – I moved on.. I decided to check in the bedroom – as that’s where she went to sleep the night before. I proceed to walk in… All I see is high tech DJ equipment. There was no bed. I thought to myself, “Man, this room has changed”. I walked out, closed the door and stepped into the kitchen.

I will still hungry so I opened the refrigerator looking for some of last night’s pizza – and there was nothing. I mean – there was basically nothing in the refrigerator.. I slam the refrigerator door closed and start looking through some cabinets.. There’s really nothing in there either. I turned around, looked on the floor – and saw some guy sleeping there in a sleeping bag – two feet away from the refrigerator. The whole time I’m there talking on the phone, walking in and out of rooms, slamming doors and closets and the refrigerator door, there’s some guy sleeping there in a sleeping bag – through all the noise.

I figured this HAD to be one of Frank’s friends. Maybe Frank gave HIM the key and forgot about it when he gave me his keychain. So I left, walked over to Off The Hookah, found Frank and asked, “Who’s the guy sleeping on your floor?”. He gave me this shocked look like he wanted to kill everyone on Earth, and started running toward his condo. He asked me if I’d kicked him out or not – and I replied, “No! I thought it was somebody you knew!”. Well, it wasn’t..

So we’re just about there and he asks me, “Are you sure it was my condo?” – and I’m like, “Yeah…”. He asks, “The fourth floor”? And I say, “Ahh.. No. I was on the third floor”…

So of course, I was in the wrong condo. I somehow ended up at someone else’s condo – who just so happened to leave his door unlocked while he was sleeping on the floor, apparently drunk. I somehow didn’t notice the place was entirely different from the night before where I was sitting on couches in the living room with four other people. I failed to realize the empty refrigerator was “strange”. I somehow didn’t think anything of the high-end DJ equipment in his bedroom – with no bed. And I somehow walked around, talking loud, slamming doors without realizing someone was sleeping two feet away from the refrigerator until I was about to leave.

And I’m normally VERY observant.

It would have been really interesting if the guy woke up while I was there.. He probably would have been like, “Who the F! are you?!”. And I would have been like, “Who the F! are YOU?! Do you know Frank?!”. And he’d have been like, “Frank who?! This is my condo. Who are you?”. Hmm…

When all is said and done, I broke and entered this weekend. Or did I? The door was opened. Is that still breaking and entering? I definitely “entered”. But I really had no idea I was in the wrong place… It was an interesting weekend. And it makes for a very silly story. The potato chips were great. Red hot ones. I wonder if the guy noticed they were gone the next day. And I wonder if he thinks he dreamt about somebody being in his condo…

I Broke The Law…

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