Everybody who knows me knows I say things you’ll never hear anywhere else. At least not for awhile. I invented a lot of the strange terms and phrases you hear today. To begin with the term, “dick face”. Yeah. That was mine. I invented it. I know, I know. It’s hard to believe. And yes, I realize that somebody, somewhere could have possibly said it first. But I claim it. My grandfather invented frozen pizza. Yup. He did. If he’d been more business savvy than street smart, Ellio’s Pizza would be mine. But I admit – some Eskimo in Alaska might have left a slice on the ice table over night and ‘actually’ had frozen pizza the next day – long before my grandfather did. So, at the very least, my grandfather ‘sold’ the first frozen pizza. At least that’s how the story goes.
So… There are a few more interesting terms and phrases that I ‘invented’ that have gone mainstream… I invented phrases like, “I’m as hungry as a penguin on Wednesday”. To note, it’s “on Wednesday” – not “on ‘a’ Wednesday”. Why? I don’t know. That’s just the way I said it a million and eleven years ago. “I’m as thirsty as a frozen giraffe”. Yup. That’s mine. And while I’m sure you’ve never heard that one, you surely have heard a derivative. “Don’t be an assfucker/dickneck/prickface”. Why? I don’t know. It just sounded better than the alternatives at the time.
I can’t go into ALL of my term and phrase inventions – so let me get to my question… Who the BALLS invented, “Those rims tho”? “That hood tho”. I think that shit sounds pretty silly but I can’t sit here and say my phrases are any less ridiculous. But “That <something> tho” took off like a bat out of hell. And most people can’t even type out “though” like it’s too difficult or something. Are people so lazy that they can’t type out the remaining “ugh”? Or is “tho” just part of the “mystique” of it all? But anyway. I just want to know who started it because I’m impressed at how damn quickly every 20-something says this phrase 472 times each day.
Honestly, I’d probably find it cool if I only had to hear it 30 times per day, tho…