Suzy Q. DeLucci here! Thanks for joining us today at See Bee Ess News where you can actually SEE the Bee Ess. And today we’re going to discuss so called “locker room talk”. As we’ve all seen already the Donald Trump video from eleven years ago where he talks about the fact that women (many, not all) will allow Hollywood movie stars, rock stars and sports figures to freely grope them at will.

Of course, we don’t believe that men really talk like this behind closed doors. So we’re going to GO behind closed doors today to see what real men talk about in locker rooms. Okay, so follow me into this famous sports team’s locker room and let’s see what’s going on in there. Right this way…

Oh, look! Here we have a conversation going on between Bobby “Buttfuçǩer” Maloney and Tony Testosterone. Let’s see what this locker room talk is all about…

Maloney (already amidst conversation): I’m just sayin’ yo! You payin’ too much for yo girl’s manicure. $80 is overboard and that’s not even including a pedicure. Yo shiz is cray cray”.

McDaniels: Man, you don’t understand. If you want to go with the cheap nail salons that’s your own business. But my wife only gets the best.

Maloney: Yo wife?! I thought you was talkin’ bout yo side chick!

McDaniels: Man? Are you crazy? I’d never even lay my eyes on another woman.

Maloney: I know, G. I was only kiddin’…

…oh and here we have another conversation between, oh my GOD, is that? Yes, it is! To what I owe this honor I have no idea. It’s Jason “The Jackhammer” Johnson and he appears to be having a conversation with Vito “VaJayJay” Corleone and Pauly “The Porn Star” Zaccarelli. Let’s see what they’re talking about..

Zaccarelli (already amidst conversation): Look, all I’m saying is that if you truly love your wife she deserves the Chanel. Everybody has a Louis.

Corleone: I know, I know but she already has three Chanels, four Ferragamos but no Louis Vuitton. I want to get her something different.

Johnson: Dude, you got the money. Take my advice. Get her a Mouawad. Now THAT’S different. THAT’S the real deal. That’s what I’m getting my wife tonight after the game. Only the best, man. Only the best…

Zaccarelli: You know what? That’s the best idea I heard all day. I’m getting my wife a Mouawad. Where can I go see them?

Johnson: There’s a Mouawad boutique just in the city. We’ll go there tonight after the game and each get one for our wife. Yo! VaJayJay! You in?

…and there you have it. The locker room talk that goes on behind closed doors between the manliest of men, the kings of testosterone, the almighty sports heroes we all worship day and night. This is Suzy Q. DeLucci of See Bee Ess News. Michael? Back to you…

Locker Room Talk – Behind Closed Doors
Tagged on:

Leave a Reply