I was thinking about the whole up-sell thing – which I hate – but understand. I hate it because most people hate it. Nobody wants to be up-sold. When normal, every day, ordinary people go to buy a car – they want to buy exactly what they want. Exactly what they priced out when they came to the limit in their budget. They don’t want to be talked into crap they don’t need.

When you bring your automobile in for service, you don’t like the fact that the service writer/advisor’s sole purpose is to up-sell you something you don’t need. Brakes before you need them. A synthetic oil change that you don’t need – before you need it. A special, stupid coating on your paint and windows… It setty roar, it setty roar, it setty roar…

These “OH MY G0O0O00D! OH MY GODDDD! DON”T LEAVE MY SITE YAAT!11!1111!!!! I HAVE SOMETHING MUCH BETTER THAN THE THING I JUST SOLD YOU ON!1!1!11” message people see just before they’re about to submit their payment – just pisses people off.

I do, however, realize that they’re in “buying mode” at this time.

Some people will – just – buy more! That’s awesome! 🙂 Bing! Bong! Boong! Skadingle! BLAP!

I’d like to think of a way (and of course, we can always A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z test it) to be more subtle about the up-sell.

I present to you… The mysterious “drop down” menu. Yes, it sounds grand and mystic. High, even. We’ll call it, The Grand High Exalted Mystic Drop Down.

This silent but mysterious being will sit there waiting for the customer to click on it – to SEEEEEEEEEEE – what’s to be discovered.

All of the sudden, out of what seems to be nowhere, appears an even better, more expensive option – that could earn them an even bigger return on their now larger investment. And we didn’t really DO anything to piss them off. We let them peek behind the curtain themselves… All three of them… Him, himself, and he. And her, herself, and she…

The Effing Internet Up-Sell
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